You have your wedding dress, which is perfect and makes you feel like Beyoncé. The wedding centerpieces are finished and ohmygod your wedding pictures are going to be adorbs. You have your rings. You’ve said your mental goodbyes to Ryan Reynolds because your soon-to-be husband was like, “I love you and I get it but Ryan Reynolds is going to ask for a restraining order if you keep sending him letters. I think it’s time to let him go. Our wedding is in like a month.”
Ryan Reynolds, you’re such a rascal.
What I’m trying to say is, time is closing in – beware! This is the time when brides find themselves with idle hands, which can mean disaster for those of you (looking at you, Type-A ladies) who are watching beauty bloggers on YouTube and are obsessively going through your Pinterest boards just trying to come up with something else to do before the big day. There are things you can do – like yoga, or drinking enough water or Sudoku if you feel like you really need to go to sleep and/or want to punish yourself, but there are some things that are better left alone. Keeping that in mind, here are a few things you NEVER want to do right before your wedding.
Chemical Peels, Botox, Fraxel, Microdermabrasion
If you’re on Facebook, you probably noticed a bunch of suspiciously targeted marketing pointed directly at you after you announced that you were engaged…
The jig is up, Zuckerberg…
You’ve probably been seeing ads for wedding dresses, wedding rings, honeymoons –the options are endless. Companies, especially those that offer cosmetic procedures, will definitely use the happy news of your engagement to try and convince you that “HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR FACE?! WE NEED TO SHOOT A LASER AT IT NOW! QUICK, BEFORE YOUR WEDDING!”
First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your face. Second, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting any of these procedures – just don’t do it in the month or two before your wedding. Everyone’s skin reacts to these treatments differently, which means that if you have anything done too close to the day you say “I do,” you’re running the risk of feeling like Linda Hamilton’s nightmare in Terminator 2.
“I don’t know – it sort of burns.”
Again, if you’re looking for a fresh, wedding-day glow – knock yourself out with treatments after you’ve consulted with your doctor! Just make sure you give yourself enough time to properly heal (and enough time to guarantee that you won’t have a reaction) before your wedding.
Avoid Radically Different Hairstyles
How many times have you left the salon and went, “Meh. It’s fine.”
Guess what? “Meh; it’s fine” can turn into “THE WEDDING PICTURES WILL BE RUINED!” real fast when you throw a wedding into the mix. You know your hair. You know what it does, what it will not do, and you probably even have an idea of how you want it to look on your wedding day.
“So, I told Jessica ‘to each their own’ when she asked me about her wedding hair but honestly I think we need to step in soon.”
That being said, don’t make any rash decisions too close to your wedding day. If you’ve always had long, luscious locks, two months before your wedding probably isn’t the right time to take the plunge for the amazing pixie cut you’ve been eyeing. Have a stylist that you trust trim, or even highlight, your hair two months before your wedding, but wait until after the nuptials to chop it all off – no matter how much you might be itching to get it done. You can always retake bridal portraits with your new hair if you decide you like it better – it will give you an excuse to wear your dress again anyway.
Drastic Workout or Eating Routine Changes
Have you ever done a juice cleanse? Have you ever done a juice cleanse and started CrossFit at the same time? Let me show you from experience what it looks like:
“THERE IS NO BLOGGER ONLY ZUUL!”
I’m not exaggerating. Juice cleanses plus crazy exercise routine changes equals Zuul from Ghostbusters. Now. Do you want to feel like Zuul from Ghostbusters at your wedding? I think not. To avoid this, stay away from major changes in your routine. If you’re not doing much in the way of exercise, don’t start P90X-ing the week before your wedding. If your diet does not consist, of say, solely kale and sadness, don’t try to do something rash like cut all gluten and calories and sugar and carbs out of your diet shortly before the big day.
“Ever since I started my new diet my teeth are breaking and I can hear colors.”
I’m not saying to avoid taking care of your diet and exercise totally. Go see your doctor a few months out and see what they suggest, but drastic changes in eating habits can leave you tired and mentally foggy – especially if you’re not getting the right kind of nutrition. Rigorous exercise routines without the proper training first are an open invitation to pulled muscles or injured tendons – neither one of which you want because those bandages won’t look cute with your dress. Try not to deviate too far from what you’re already doing. Remember – balanced meals, lots of water, brisk walks, good sleep, the absence of lasers and rationally-made decisions on hairstyles will make for a happy, healthy and Ghostbuster-less wedding day.