A List for the Dazed & Confused Groom

My husband has been urging me to do a blog about what it’s like to plan a wedding from the groom’s perspective.  Since, obviously, I’ve never planned a wedding as a groom, I had to pick his brain, which I’m sure made him regret ever suggesting it in the first place… But nevertheless!  Hopefully I can get a few ideas across to you guys that you can pass along to your grooms 🙂

1. Here is the first thing you can do to make your fiancee glad she said yes:  GIVE HER A GUEST LIST!  One with guests names, addresses, and even phone numbers.  “Uncle Joe and his wife, who live in Dallas” will not cut it.  The task of the guest list is usually the first stress-inducer for the bride (and there will be many!).  You can certainly help her out by preparing your  detailed list as thoroughly as possible and in a timely manner. 

2. Traditionally the groom plans and pays for the honeymoon.  The earlier you do this, the better.  Get a few location ideas together, and then run them across the bride.  Once you’ve chosen a destination, get to work.  Booking flights, hotels, and resorts in advance will ensure availability.  This is a conversation you do NOT want to have a month before the wedding:

Bride, with chin in hands, and hearts in her eyes: So what’re we doing for our honeymoon?!

Groom: I dunno, did you have any ideas?

Crazy-bride behavior will surely ensue.  Be prepared to watch your fiancee transform into the hulk with a veil.

3.  If the bride is paying for the wedding, the groom typically steps up for the rehearsal dinner.  While many grooms’ parents are relieved to embrace this task (rather than the wedding itself!), the groom himself may host the event if his parents are not.  Like most things wedding related, the pertinent information is at your fingertips: just google “how do I host a rehearsal dinner?” and poof! your research has begun.  Check out local restaurants for private party rooms and rates. 

4.  Be responsible for your groomsmen.  Make sure they understand your wedding is not a frat party.  To avoid any surprises, discuss boundaries (if any) for your bachelor party with your fiancee, and then relay them to the best man.  Ensure that they have been measured and purchased tuxes, and then prepare gifts for your dudes.  Popular gifts include any engraved items, such as harmonicas, swiss army knives, flasks.  NOTE: Urge them to NOT bring the harmonicas or flasks to the wedding.  Also, be sure to choose groomsman that need minimal managing in terms of behavior.  In other words, choose grown-ups.  A drunken, sloppy toast could cause severe embarassment and a fussy new wife.  The biggest responsibilities of a groomsmen include showing up ON TIME, clean shaven, in tux…and not smelling of alcohol. 

5.  The bride and groom usually give each other a gift.  Usually, but not always.  Find out if you guys are skipping this tradition.  You don’t want to discover this too late and have your first hurt feelings as man and wife…on your wedding day.  If you are sharing gifts, give yourself some time to choose something thoughtful and, ideally, romantic.  Again, don’t be shy with the google browser! 

6.  Support your fiancee.  Planning a wedding is extremely stressful.  There will be times that she’ll be angry at you for not doing something, when you didn’t realize you were supposed to be doing it.  Ask her what she needs help with.  If she responds with a few tasks, DO THEM!  If you don’t know how, ask!  Seriously.  Call me.  I work here Sunday-Thursday 936.441.6611.  Or, email me: heathersbb@aol.com

Did I forget anything?  Don’t be shy, comment below!

Relaxing on our honeymoon!