Love the man, hate the ring?

Some couples get ready for the engagement by ring shopping together.   They browse the counters together, pointing out what they like and don’t like about each ring.  I hear about a lot of guys asking their gals to show them what kind of engagement ring styles they like online first. 

And then there are some men who love the element of surprise.   Spending time to pick out the perfect ring without her having to guide him is part of the excitement. 

Some men find a happy medium between these two by bringing in a close girlfriend or sister to weigh in on the bride’s preferences.

There is no wrong or right way, right?  Well, what about the bride who doesn’t like the ring?  I read an interesting article about this today, with a three step plan for asking him to change it.  I first wondered to myself how often this actually happens.  All I had to do was type “what if I don’t like my” in the google search box, and “engagement ring” is the first thing to come up! (“Baby” is the second, which is really humorous to me.)  So, if a lot of women are searching for the answers on google, you know it happens often!

Mara Opperman says in her article, that if you don’t love the ring, you have to tell him in order to replace it.  I haven’t decided whether or not I agree yet, but her three steps to breaking the news to your new fiance are as follows: 1. Decide what you do and don’t like about the ring, because if it’s something like the setting, perhaps that could be changed without replacing the entire ring. 2. Open some wine and wear something he loves before you tell him. 3. Tell him in a warm and honest way that you love him and appreciate him, but want a ring you will admire forever.

What do you think?  If you don’t love the ring, would you tell your new fiance?  Or, do you see it as your own responsibility to tell him what you like BEFORE he goes shopping?