When I got married 2 years ago, my husband’s brother was in charge of the toast. He was the best man, and he had just turned 20. I was very concerned about what he might say, so I firmly explained to him that he had to keep it short and simple. Only about half of the guests had received their champagne when he grabbed the mic and muttered something to the effect of “To Anne and Jimmy, here’s to a lifetime of fun.”
That was it.
Which is fine- it was better than the other extreme: a long-winded and embarrassing speech. But the toast should be neither extreme, and with a little bit of effort, should be somewhere in the middle. I’ve looked up some guidelines about how to make a great wedding toast. So print this out and leave it at your best friend’s house.
A couple of DON’Ts: Don’t be too short or too long. Too short is one sentence. Too long is more than 3-5 minutes. Don’t reference inside jokes or assume all of the guests know your history together- introduce yourself, and any stories you may tell with a little background info. Don’t mention any past exes (seems obvious- you’d be surprised), and don’t joke about when the couple will (or won’t) have kids. Don’t offend the guests- be clean! Don’t be drunk, and DON’T EVER tell embarrassing stories!
And of course, some DOs: Do mention how lovely or touching or memorable the service was. Do prepare and practice. Be sure to keep the focus on the bride and groom, not on yourself or your relationship. Do mention why you’re fond of the bride and groom, and be warm and sincere. Most couples have their weddings filmed, so any slip-ups will most likely be recorded (no pressure)!
Tons more info can be found in books or on the web. A little bit of preparation will go a long way!