Engagements are exciting. Did he take you to the place you met and get down on one knee with a secret photographer? Did he ask you at a baseball game on the jumbotron in front of thousands of people? Did he wait until the two of you were watching Pacific Rim in your living room at 3 a.m. and say, “I’m not a planning sort of guy, but marry me?” (Jealous, ladies?)
The point is now you’re engaged and you get to plan a wedding! Do you want a big, beautiful, exciting wedding?! Fantastic! We’ve got a blog coming for you soon! Here’s the thing though. You might want a very small beautiful wedding, despite what every single Julia Roberts movie from the 90s is trying to tell you. You don’t have to listen to Julia Roberts. She is lovely but she is not the boss of you. (Please don’t tell Julia Roberts I said that. She is pretty wedding aggressive.)
Have you thought about eloping? What I’m trying to say here is that eloping is a lot like women who can swim: a long time ago dudes thought it meant you were a witch but as it turns out, it just means you can probably escape from a shark or a dude who thinks you’re a witch better than someone who can’t swim. What. That wasn’t clear? What I’m trying to say is that eloping isn’t a negative thing. In fact, it can be an easy, relaxing and beautiful way to get married. Here are some reasons eloping might be a good choice for you.
You were told that if you went to college you’d find a good paying job, but “SURPRISE!”
You undoubtedly have a lot on your financial plate. Not only that, but some of the previous wedding conventions, like “the bride’s parents’ pay for the wedding,” aren’t necessarily the norm anymore. And that’s ok. Trust me – there are lots of wedding practices that are probably better to see disappearing in the distance.
As more and more couples are having to pay for their own weddings, they realize a large, 150-person event just isn’t practical or cost efficient. So many of the couples we see are newly-graduated or soon-to-be graduates looking for good jobs and trying to balance student loans. We also see a lot of people who are on their second marriage and are looking for a small, cost-efficient ceremony that has a warmer, more intimate feeling than what you might get at a court house. Eloping, alleviates the financial burden of a large ceremony and reception.
Fresh Ulcers! Get Your Ulcers Everyone! Hot Wedding Ulcers!
Some people thrive on high-pressure situations. The thought of deadlines and lists and buying paper clips and notebooks and organizers from Staples excites them. Every day they get up, slam a protein shake and do bicep curls with their wedding binders while reciting their guest list out loud like a scene from Full Metal Jacket. These brides usually do very well with planning their own weddings. They’re like Gerard Butler in 300, but with more weddings and less kicking strangers into the pit of despair.
And then there are some people who think about purchasing a calendar and immediately pass out from stress. If you’re in this group, eloping might be a good thing to consider. Or maybe you’ll be fine! Don’t worry about it! You’ll be able to organize the guest list, choose what type of paper you want for the invitations, select the color of the linens, pick out the silverware, decide what you want for dinner at the reception, figure out the theme, choose a song to walk down the aisle to, meet with a preacher, decide what type of ceremony you want, work with a DJ, find a photographer, interview caterers (is your friend still a vegan or are they off the wagon again? did you make sure there’s a gluten-free option for your cousin who isn’t eating gluten even though she doesn’t have celiac disease and doesn’t actually know what gluten is? And how about your CrossFit friends who don’t eat anything that they can’t track down from behind some bushes and personally murder with their own teeth?) manage RSVPs, do your gift registry, choose your wedding party, come up with favors for the reception, decide if you want an open bar (remember that person who drinks and had to be physically removed from the family reunion because he tried to punch that goat?)…anyway… if you’re not great with stress, I’m sure handling all of that (and more. So, so much more) for a wedding will probably be fine. Or you can just elope, knock about 90 percent of that off your list and let the people managing your ceremony take care of the other ten percent. The only thing you’ll have to do is figure out what to wear.
Eloping can be Personal, Intimate and Beautiful
Quick! Name all the people you trust to not make a scene at your wedding!
In some cases, weddings are a numbers game. The people you know really, really well – the people who love you thoroughly even though you got drunk at the family reunion and tried to punch that goat and were asked to leave – those are the people you want around you at your wedding. In some cases, that’s 100 people, in other cases, that’s 10 or 15 – there’s no wrong number! Just because you have fewer people does not mean your wedding will be “less than.”
You can convey big love and big emotion with a small wedding just as easily as you can with a big wedding – it’s all about what’s best for you personally and there’s nothing wrong with either choice.
In fact, like most things in life, I’ve found that smaller, more exclusive weddings wind up being just as special for our brides and their families as their larger counterparts. Sometimes, you have those twinges inside that say, “If you don’t invite your mom’s boss’ best friend’s aunt’s sister their feelings are going to be hurt.” Here’s the bottom line – if their feelings are “hurt”, they don’t really care about what you want, so they’re selfish, and you don’t want selfish people at your wedding anyway. Selfish people like Jaden Smith. Give me a second to prove my point.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West had approximately seven trillion people at their wedding. Because of the sheer number of guests, the chances of someone showing up in a white Batman suit were much greater than say, at your wedding. And that’s exactly what happened. Kimye invited seven trillion people. One of them was Jaden Smith. And Jaden Smith showed up in a white Batman suit. To a wedding. Where he was a guest. And it was not a Halloween wedding.
What I’m trying to say is those people who love and trust and want to be at your wedding are likely the kind of people who aren’t going to be showing up in a white Batman suit. They want what’s best for you and not even 1,000 Commissioner Gordon’s on 1,000 Gotham high-rises with 1,000 Batsignals could make them want to guilt you into something that wasn’t right for you. That’s the kind of love you want to be surrounded by on your wedding day.
Did I mention that Heather’s Glen offers different elopement packages? So there you have it. If you’re looking for a way to celebrate your new partner that is cost-efficient (spend that money on a house, or a vacation, or on a white batman suit to wear to your friend’s wedding!), stress free and intimate in a boutique wedding venue surrounded by a handful of people who truly love you, eloping is probably something you should look into. You can thank me after the ceremony.